I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
How does one acquire holy water?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
