I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
