Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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