DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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