how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
