Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
