Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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