haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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