No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
