made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
