She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
