They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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