Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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