garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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