Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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