He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
