I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
