why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
