in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Never underestimate the power of titties
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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