I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
