My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Im just a social blackout drinker.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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