Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
