You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We need to rekindle our bromance
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
