Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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