I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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