At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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