I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
