but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
