Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
