Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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