i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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