I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
you never un-have a 4some
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
