My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
