I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
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