Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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