He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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