I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
