I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
