I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
