YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
