My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
