You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Are my feet made of real feet?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
