3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
birth control should be required to get into college
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
