he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Dignity is for republicans.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
