i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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