Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
