worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
