I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just found puke in my bra..
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
