He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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