You're so nebulous sometimes
Ambien. No doubt about it.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
