Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
