franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize