butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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