Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Randomize
