Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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