Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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