So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
