i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
