maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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