Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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