i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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