pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
