If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
